Ben was bothered by boogers…


Ben was bothered by boogers

That danced around in his nose

They jumped and kicked and then held fast

And attached themselves with their toes.

They built themselves a little home

Decorated with style

Ben got a tissue and blew and blew

But they thought they’d stay for a while

They had many booger children

Who invited all of their friends

To romp and play inside Ben’s nose

And dribble all over his chins.

Ben called Jake to help him

And asked what his brother could do

To relieve the mess inside his nose

So he could breathe anew.

Jake took a look at the boogers

Said, “I know how to deal with those

I’ll get the vacuum cleaner

And suck them out with the hose”

Now Ben isn’t bothered by boogers

And his hero is brother Jake

Who saved him from the boogers

And baked him a booger cake.

So. There we have it. My booger poem. This is, you know, based on actual facts. Well, not facts, really. Not very many facts, anyway. OK, so there are only two parts of the story that are true.

Ben and Jake are brothers. Twins, in fact.

Ben  WAS bothered by boogers.

We were walking out of the bowling alley in Hemet, California several years ago. Ben was walking beside me and he remarked, “I’m bothered by boogers.”

I thought it was a very interesting turn of phrase. Not, “I have boogers,” or, “There are boogers in my nose.”

“I am bothered by boogers.”

It sounded lovely. It sounded like a poem, especially with the added alliteration of “Ben was bothered by boogers.”

It wouldn’t have been quite as impressive if it had been Jake who was bothered by the aforementioned boogers. At least, it would have been a different poem.

But Jake will get his own poem. It will be called “Jake Bakes A Cake.” I’ve already started it.

You should meet these two sometime. They are very interesting characters. Maybe come Halloween I will share photos of them in some of their Halloween costumes: Edward Scissorhands, Killer Clown, The Boondock Saints.

Oh, and by the way – I am well aware of the fact that the cake looks more like jello, but it is what it is. Get over it.

As we say in preschool, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”