Halloween Terror in the Tower District: A True Story

It was a dark, dark night, and the ghouls and ghosties were approaching our house. It was the tradition, in the District of Tower, and in the surrounding villages, to bribe the creatures of the night, the one’s who came but once a year, with treats of sugary eyeballs, and chocolate bones.

If not rewarded in such a way, the demons were known to destroy the walls of houses with eggs that had gone foul.

They would swaddle the trees in the dreaded papel higienico, or shove one’s outer house into the precipice.

They came. They came in unrelenting hordes.

They shouted “Trick or Treat!” as they approached – and I knew they meant it.

We filled their vessels, and they turned away, their evil smiles filling us with terror.

 More came, and more. There had never been so many!

It was as if the River Styx had run dry, thereby allowing the residents of Hades to escape into our world.

But The Mister and I were well-stocked with mass quantities of gruesome treats. Surely we would be safe for another year!

And then, from inside the house, there came a wail, as if from a Banshee!

“It’s gone! It’s all gone! We have given it all away! There is no more – what shall we do?”

We were doomed. There were no more gruesome tasties with which to bribe the evil spirits!

But lo! The Child came forth and supplied the answer:

“What about the candy canes in the freezer, Aunt Godfrey?”

Yes! The Canes of Candy left over from the preceding Celebration of the Winter Solstice?

I embraced The Child with gratitude and rushed the canes to the front door.

“Oh, terrible beasties,” I implored, “Will you accept these colorful canes of sweetness in lieu of candied guts and caramelized brains?”

To which they replied, “Candy’s candy, lady. Fill ‘er up!”

And then, approaching the house, I saw – I saw – Oh no! The dreaded teenagers!

I knew they had been listening.

How would these most terrible of fiends react?

They looked me in the eye. They hesitated for but a moment.

Then, as one, they shouted:

This tale is truth. If it be a lie, may the Hounds of Hell gnaw my bones for eternity.