Ramblings about numbers and phobias and wanting to know things.

I do not have a scientific mind – no, let me amend that. I do not have a mathematical mind. Numbers confuse me. They make no sense.

A few years ago I took a College Arithmetic class. I expected to do poorly, but I got an ‘A’! No one was more surprised than me. And it was actually fun. So, the next semester I took Algebra. Oh, Good Lord! It was horrible. I paid $400 for a tutor, but it was excruciatingly painful.

I cried a lot.

I just didn’t understand it. How I managed to get a ‘C’ I’ll never know. It must have been magic.

Now, magic I understand. My mind wanders around in a magical universe and I do quite well there. Words live in my magical universe. I like words. Words are my friends.

Numbers are not my enemy, exactly, but I don’t understand them, and I’m pretty sure they don’t understand me. I don’t know what they’re up to most of the time.

As for science, well, if science is “the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment,” then I DO have a scientific mind. I want to learn things. I want to learn about the planet, about people, about animals and plants, about all aspects of this universe we live in.

Anything that doesn’t have to do with numbers.

I think I’m afraid of numbers. I am number phobic. I think there’s probably a word for that. I’ll have to look it up.

I looked it up:

What is Numerophobia?

Numerophobia is the fear of numbers. Some people may fear certain numbers(i.e. 13 or 666) or they might fear having to add numbers. The origin of the word numer is Latin (meaning number) and phobia is Greek (meaning fear). Numerophobia is considered to be a specific phobia, which is discussed on the home page. Numerophobia is also called Arithmophobia is also related Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (fear of the number 666) and Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13).

What are the causes?

It is generally accepted that phobias arise from a combination of external events (i.e. traumatic events) and internal predispositions (i.e. heredity or genetics). Many specific phobias can be traced back to a specific triggering event, usually a traumatic experience at an early age. Social phobias and agoraphobia have more complex causes that are not entirely known at this time. It is believed that heredity, genetics, and brain chemistry combine with life-experiences to play a major role in the development of phobias. (Wikipedia – phobia).


I wonder. What was the “traumatic experience” that caused me to not like numbers? Or is it just brain chemistry? How does the mind work, anyway? What makes one person different from another?

You see, I do have a scientific mind.

I am curious. I want to know things.

As long as those things aren’t numbers.